I’m inviting you to a 5-week practice series with me, where I share my favorite ways to stay healthy and connected to myself, my body, my spirit, my creativity, my sexuality, my softness, and my feminine power and essence.
The Indestructible Modern Goddess Practice Sessions will be on Thursday evenings from 7:30-9:30pm at Essential Elements Spa in Mckinleyville. We begin Thursday, February 7th. DM with any questions. Juicy details and registration can be found here.
This entire post is a series of thoughts I’m sharing right now on WHY I practice self-care the way I do.
I would love to hear your thoughts and comments below!
Life is FULL. I have a 10 year old and an 18month old, a relationship, and I have my own business. I co-parent with my oldest son’s dad, which is not always easy or smooth.
Sometimes the things I wish I could do for self-care, like walk 3-5 miles by the ocean every morning, curl up alone in peace for several hours (or a whole glorious day) with no outside pressures while I drink coffee and write for pleasure, take a day for myself where no one is asking me when I will be back, what I’m cooking for dinner, or where I’m going, or sleep until I wake up on my own, are out of reach in this season of my life- mostly because of the demands of my new baby.
The things that make my life rich with meaning, like my children, my relationship, and my amazing business- also add stress to my world. (More on the stress and pressures of relationships/marriage coming soon- that one is so deep it needs it’s own post 😂)
I practice because I don’t want to have a default negative attitude about the fullness of this season of my life. I don’t want to secretly dread baseball season, holidays, or even just the never-ending To-Do list.
I like to think about it like this… If my life were a movie, where I’m at now would be the middle of the movie! The part with the action, the drama, and the thickening plot! Of course, it’s full. This is IT, baby. LIFE!
If I’m constantly on the defensive, how can I shape this wild precious life into what I most want it to be?? How can I truly tap into gratitude if I’m running on E and totally haggard??
I practice to care for myself in ALL THE SEASONS of my life, with flexibility and ease.
I need my self-care to be easy and I need it to REALLY WORK.
I need my practice to change me, to soften me, to turn me on and ignite me, to keep me centered and open to the flow of power within me.
And guess, what? My practices REALLY DO all of this for me and even more than I can fit here.
Our culture really pushes this idea that someone or something else will come along and complete us, fulfill us, and meet our every need.
I’ve never experienced this as being true and I have only found the opposite to be true, really. I do not feel seen, heard, loved, or fulfilled when I come as a beggar; needy and empty.
Now look, I know we don’t openly show up as needy and empty. We might even try to seem overly independent, unattached and confident.
But INSIDE there is a genuine belief, a feeling- that we are not enough and not complete on our own, and that without this other THING or PERSON, we won’t really be ok. We won’t be acceptable, and we won’t be enough.
I have been there! Sometimes I STILL DO THIS!
I actually think there are unspoken pride and status given to women who abandon themselves in their relationships and lives.
It’s an ideal that women especially uphold and even demand among ourselves; we want people to admire us and praise us for making ourselves as small and non-existent as possible because that means we are better wives, mothers, bosses, employees, friends, volunteers, and people.
Culture has tricked us into believing that we are *worth more* when we devalue ourselves.
I think on some level we think if we just perform this act long enough and pretend that we have zero needs, zero preferences or dreams, pretend that we never change or grow, and stay willing to take what others have always given- FOREVER—
that eventually someone will notice and CARE and make some space for us to exist in the world as our own person.
REAL TALK: THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN.
If we want people to care about us, we have to care about us first. In the small things as well as the big things.
My practice puts me in touch with my sovereign, divine self in such a way that I have the courage to show up as my WHOLE self. I have the courage to allow myself to be seen; all my needs, including my non-negotiables, my dreams, the fact that I am a growing creature and I reserve the right to change and to change my mind in the future, etc.